Coolest kid ever

Defend Your Uniqueness

Don't ever change who you are. You cant let the expectations and opinions of the things you want to be tainted by other people and their baggage. There is seldom any good reason not to do, buy, take, eat, wear or go where you want when that reason is someone else's bullshit. When you change your mind on something because of what "they" say , your a punk, a sell-out and above all else a coward. Do what you want. Dare to be bold with no regrets. Look up and remember your opinion matters more than anyone's when your happiness is at stake. Throw out the rules you've been told to take without question by years and years of structuring and molding and you'll shine and grow like the beacon of individuality that you're supposed to be. You're you. The force to be reckoned with. The last line of defense against those that seek to change you, steer you, pull you, push you, drive you, spin you off the top of your game. Don't be afraid to stand alone in your "weirdness" your "odd ball outcast ways". Stand alone and stand strong, the people who are truly your brothers, sisters, lovers and friends will soon follow. Like attracts Like. Throw out that "opposites attract" rubbish they fed you in science class, the new class is in session. Opposites are opposite because they stay true to what they are, its nature and its necessary. I don't care if its your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, or best friend......CONFORM FOR NO ONE even at the risk of coming off as (what some might call) a jackass. Defend your uniqueness people.

This announcement is brought to you by BLACKSPOON

 Chucks, easily the coolest shoes ever. If I could I would marry them.....well not really but I do plan on wearing them on my wedding day. Its either their timeless awesomeness or how amazing I make them look :) Which ever it is, they'll be my shoe of choice for the extent of my time here on earth and I'm sure JC won't mind if i bring a pair through the pearly gates. For those of you who foolishly deprive themselves of the gratification to be had from donning a pair of these beauties, I suggest you rethink your life.

In an effort to save you heathenous, non-converse wearing half-wits, I have philanthropically provided access to some educational data that I hope you find beneficial.

click here for salvation!!!


 

Might be the funniest thing ever

I'm not quite sure what it is about Richmond weather but the local weather god's are either mean or confused. One day it feels like Jack Frost is running the show and then days like today pop up where you expect a Disney princess to be skipping down the street, singing to woodland creatures. Either way I'm excited about spring even if it does mean losing an hour. Time for picnics, shorts, water-parks, road trips and the rest of the outdoor activities that require sun-block.

What goes up must come down

Ah, the trip and fall!! Easily the funniest thing to witness as you're out and about running errands, sitting in church or anywhere really. My particular favorites are the lady folk who have that certain edge about them that screams "yes, that's right I'm a bitch and I think I look better than the mannequin in this ridiculous outfit". Don't get me wrong, its a sight to behold when anyone does it but pretty women enhance it's comedic potency. Most of them could probably stand to have their egos chopped down a peg or two. Barring serious injury, its always a good pick me up. 

I apologize to all of you accident prone people out there.

Story time!!! Every once in a while I feel the need to tell random stories about my life or even random silliness I see as I go about my day. Today's silliness is the fight I saw between two nine year olds outside of Target. It was freaking hilarious but before I could run inside and buy popcorn to eat while I watched, their mom broke them up. But anyway it reminded me of my first fight. The story goes as follows:

One summer day when I was about 14, my older brother decided a lengthy pummeling was a reasonable response to a comment I had made about a sauce he was making in the kitchen. Cooking was about the only thing we had in common. I asked him if the funky sauce he was making was a poor attempt at copying a sauce that I made the previous night.

Before I continue, I will have the record show that my first fist fight was about a homemade condiment and not just any condiment.......it was honey mustard.......I was about to get my ass kicked over some honey mustard!!! With that clarification, I invite you to continue.

I assume he misinterpreted my inquisitive tone for a condescending one (I'm not sure why) and felt it necessary to call me a few choice words that sounded nothing like my name. The verbal assault was immediately followed by a series of shoves like one's you would see between two young boys in a school yard or apparently Target, but instead they were between two 6ft., one hundred and seventy pound teenagers. I made the mistake of thinking that some shoving would be the worst of it. It was at that moment that he grabbed my neck, put me in a headlock and attempted to bash the top of my head into a section of concrete wall protruding from the entrance to the kitchen. Gotta love the affect of action movies on the male perspective. Luckily, I had grown two inches earlier that year which were accompanied by a few solid pounds of muscle thanks to the Junior Dumbbell Set I recently purchased from our local sporting goods store. In the last few seconds before impact I managed to over power him and slip out of his grip. All I remember was balling up my fist, shutting my eyes, and swinging with every ounce of rage I had in my adolescent body. I felt a thud in my knuckles which was accompanied by what sounded like someone had tried to tenderize steak with a sledge hammer. When I opened my eyes and saw my brother he simply looked lost. It was as if he wasn't quite sure where he was. From his slowly blackening left eye I deduced that my first punch was a success. Yay for me!!! I am blackspoon, hear me roar!!!!